Best Picture Oscars 2013

As of today, I’ve seen all nine of the Best Picture nominated films of 2012.  To celebrate, here’s a haiku for each.



Love, Haneke style:
which means this movie really
should have been called Haine.



Fake movie saves lives!
Is it any wonder that
this will win best pic?


Beasts of the Southern Wild

Katrina story
with little girl narrator:
funny, sweet, and sad.

 django Django Unchained

There’s a lot in here:
blood, guts, jokes, and passion — but
it’s just too damn long.


Les Misérables

bombast of zooming, singing.
Crowe, keep your day job.


Life of Pi

Parker, fake tiger.
Was I watching Avatar?
It’s no Cast Away.



Daniel Day-Lewis
is Honest Abe incarnate
but all else is snooze.


Silver Linings Playbook

Cooper and Lawrence
have kooky sparks aplenty
and dance moves as well.


Zero Dark Thirty

By-the-numbers film
well made and well acted…but
where’s Abu Nazir?

Beasts of the Southern Wild has less than zero dark thirty chance of winning, but it was my favorite film of last year.  For a dramatic movie that depicts the downtrodden without any filters, it made me laugh more than most comedies.  This movie also gets additional kudos for managing to tell its story in 93 minutes.  Less is more!

Silver Linings Playbook is the best pic on deck — who knew that Bradley Cooper had this performance in him?  And De Niro’s bedside speech is perhaps the best work he’s done in the last decade.  The third act is goofy and rote, and I think just about everyone knew (spoiler three words ahead!) that the letter from the wife was a fake, but there was enough goodwill built up in the first two acts that made it forgivable.